Trials or Triumps? Guest Post

TRAILS OR TRIUMPHS? The choice is mine. Which will I choose?

Some of you might know me and others not, but I have volunteered to help Niki complete this weeks Sonday Sunday due to her fabulous vacation she is on! I have had several years of trials, as one might call it, but for me I am choosing now to call it triumphs. I was a once “wanna be” Donna Reed and thought I had my life in order when God had different plans for me. He has taken me through many journeys and I am still along for the ride. The main thing God has taught me is that I have a choice in life of whether to embrace these trials and use them for His glory or not too and be a very sad, lonely person. I am not at all saying that each day is easy at embracing this, but God reveals His presence and power to me daily and all I have to do is ask. He is always faithful, never changing, loves me unconditionally, and can work miraculously in all of our lives.

Now if I had my own blog I could journal weekly and slowly fill you in on my “story” but to not get into too much information or make this so long you are snoring at the end, I will try to condense it to the points I feel like God is laying upon my heart. Life until 4 years ago (before the birth of my son) was similar to Donna Reed’s or at least I thought so. My husband was perfect, our marriage seemed perfect, I tried to keep our house perfect, I tried to keep myself perfect, I loved my perfect little job, I tried to spend time with God daily and for sure in the morning b/c that seemed to be the “perfect” time to do that, I served at church and other organizations, and tried to act and behave perfectly to everyone. My DH (dear husband) might differ on some of these comments.

Then we begin to want a family and I assumed this would happen perfectly. We tried for over a year and had surgery for endometriosis and finally conceived a child. A few days after a positive pregnancy test I was told I was miscarrying but then miraculously did not. At week 28 of my pregnancy I was put on bed rest for contractions and had to quit my job and then delivered my baby boy early He had to stay in the hospital for a week because his lungs were underdeveloped. THEN we finally got to bring that miracle baby home and once again I assumed my “perfect” life would resume with our new addition to our family. I thought I had conquered all these obstacles and honestly felt like after we got our son home that the valley would turn into a mountain! I remember thinking how blessed we had been to have gone through so much and see God’s miracles and to experience a deeper, closer relationship with Him.

Now as I look back I see that was just the beginning of the journey that was preparing me for the biggest challenge of my life. Soon postpartum depression set in and I battled that minute by minute and learned a lot about not being “perfect” anymore and that God wanted to use me to be REAL to others and help them. That was a very humbling experience but one I don’t even hesitate to share now. Then the pain, fatigue, bladder infections, etc. started to creep in. No doctors around could put their finger on what was causing this or what was going on. I had been an avid runner, always in shape and even pushed our son in a 5K shortly after giving birth. Slowly my pain stopped me from doing the things I thought were my “love” in life. God had bigger plans and I had to put my “Donna Reed” persona aside and let my husband, my family, and friend’s ministry to me. I was battling a chronic illness that is said to be incurable but there are treatment options that can help. I began to research my heart out searching for answers, I saw every doctor and tried every medication and procedure known and some not even tried before in this area, and finally found the ONLY answer that would heal my body and soul: MY Jesus.

No, my house wasn’t perfect anymore and I couldn’t keep up with my zones (Niki and I competed on these). My marriage wasn’t as perfect as I thought it was suppose to be and somehow I couldn’t find the time or energy for those romantic getaways and surprises. I couldn’t get up early in the morning anymore and have my daily quiet time or even run with my friends that were huge encouragers. I was doing good just making it through the day taking care of my son. After two years of chronic pain, major hormone changes, life as I knew it no longer existed, BUT at this moment I am happy to say “TO GOD BE THE GLORY.” God is still at work in my life and expecting He will be until I see Him in eternity. I have learned that if he isn’t working in our lives and teaching us be victorious in the storms, then we are not learning much and how boring would that be!!!!! (now don’t get me wrong there are many days I wish I could call boring) How boring would it be if my life was “perfect” as I thought and wanted it to continue to be? Would I really be growing with God? Would I be ministering to anyone except making them feel like their life should measure up to a “perfect” life that really doesn’t exist? Would I have been blessed with some new friendships that have literally “carried” me through some very dark, trying times? Would I have ever been on that receiving end of being ministered by my church family that was so overwhelming it brought me to tears? Would I trade any of this hardship, pain, sadness for that “old” perfect Donna Reed life? Absolutely NOT! God is more real, I am more real, and He is still working on me! Those small things that I thought were my “loves” in life are just that…SMALL THINGS.

So for those of you that are reading this, be encouraged that no matter what life brings us with Jesus by our side we WILL prevail. If we didn’t go through the valleys we wouldn’t see any mountains and rainbows. If you are in the “pit” right now, know I am praying for you. Today I am lifting up prayers for all of you that are ready this blog and that God will ministry to you in an amazing way that you would never expect. That has been the joy of my trials, is to see God at work and to see the little “blessings” he puts in my life each day to lift my soul and others. I challenge you to take the time today to think about what you are going to do with the trails in your life. Take the time to stop and listen to God and see the blessings in front of you. Don’t miss out on that card or phone call from a friend that God might have used to encourage you, a scripture or words straight from God’s book, a rainbow after the rain storm, a flower blooming before you eyes that you never thought could represent the “new” life God is giving you in Him, the smile or words from your child that God could only orchestrate, help from your husband around the house or with your children, or blogs like Niki’s that is being used to minister to others. I want to end with this scripture to claim this week and to all of you that are struggling. I choose to believe in the miracles He has performed and will continue to perform in my life. May God richly bless each and every one of you.

“You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the people.” Psalm 77:14

Emily McCarron